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John Darksouls
Overview John Darksouls is the greatest player of Dark Souls in the world, and the brother of John America. Many seek his guidance, to learn the art of "Getting Gud", but since taking Bepe under his wing, he has locked himself away and refuses to ever take another pupil. Powers John Darksouls has the incredible power to "Git Gud", and was estimated to have had a peak power level of "God-Slayer". As implied by his name, his greatest ability is his unparalleled ability to play the video game Dark Souls. His gameplay is so good that he can beat the entire game in 0.00001 seconds, and has been able to win at Dark Souls by merely touching a copy of the game. This was tested by presenting a brand-new untouched copy of Dark Souls & Playstation 3, and confirming that there was no saved data whatsoever on the console. John Darksouls touched the disk for 0.05 seconds, and when inserted, the game had been completely beaten and all items and achievements unlocked. John Darksouls has shown incredible proficiency in physical combat, however, he may be killed-- In the event that John Darksouls dies in combat, his body rapidly turns to ash, and he is reborn out of the bonfire in his house. If the bonfire were ever destroyed, it is unknown what would become of him. Rivalry As his prowess as a Dark Souls gamer grew, John Darksouls was eventually challenged by professional gamer: gilGAMEsh. Through his prowess at the game, John earned gilGAMEsh's respect, and the two became friends and rivals. However, that changed one day when gilGAMEsh asked John to help him destroy all cucks. John refused, forcing the two to have an epic battle, which John ultimately won. From that point on, the two parted ways, and John, distraught, gave up gaming, and became a recluse. Mentorship Following his retirement from gaming, John eventually found a new purpose in mentoring the next generation of talent. Through the ages, he went on to pass his epic skills down to countless students, and those he saw promise in. According to John Darksouls, these were the most fulfilling years of his life. "Nothing could possibly go wrong." said Darksouls. Paul & Liquid Blart (2009) In 2009, John Darksouls was called upon by the American government to aid in their "Les Enblarts Terribles" project, offering to pay handsomely. Darksouls agreed, and took it upon himself to train the two boys to the peak of their ability. His training paid off, and very soon, both brothers became incredibly skilled fighters. As the training neared completion, the researchers asked Darksouls which of the two brother was the superior fighter. He stated that Liquid had more potential, but Paul would be stronger if Liquid did not discover the power of friendship. Later, it was discovered that Liquid overheard this conversation, which added to his turn against America. Johnnymanin (2017) John Darksouls first discovered Johnnymanin rifling through his trash looking for a fidget spinner. With no arms, Johnnymanin was unable to make much headway, but after witnessing his determination, John Darksouls sough to train him. After 4 months of rigorous training, Johnnymanin's training was rewarded by the growth of an arm, allowing him to spin freely. Proud of his student, Darksouls bid Johnnymanin farewell, for he had nothing more to teach him. Master of Bepe John Darksouls took a young Bepe under his wing, in a move he now describes as "the greatest regret of his life". Darksouls trained Bepe to play Dark Souls, causing him to "git gud" at an unparalleled rate. Darksouls recalls that he was impressed by Bepe's potential, and believed that he would go on to surpass him, becoming a warrior to defend humanity. "I had never been more wrong," Darksouls said bitterly in an interview in 2006. "I thought I was creating a hero... But I had only given birth to a monster." Bepe's drift away from Darksouls came to a head in 1954, when Bepe accused Darksouls of being "an anti-America cucklord", and challenged him to a duel. Their battle was fierce and destructive, resulting in countless deaths; Finally, the duel ended with John Darksouls slashing Bepe's left eye, defeating him. Bepe retreated, but not before taking his prized Blade of America. "I should have killed him then," Darksouls lamented. "God forgive me." List of Students * Bepe (Disowned) * Paul Blart * Liquid Blart * Johnnymanin (Passed) * Schnozzine (Seeking Tutelage)